This page includes a transcript of the Ackerman 2008 presidential ads, a series of videos released in October 2008 parodying the 2008 presidential election in the United States to promote the close release of Command & Conquer: Red Alert 3.
New Presidential Candidate Emerges[]
President Ackerman provides hope
Ackerman: Some may say my bid for president is too late in the game. Late to the race, late to the party. Well I say the party doesn't get started until I arrive, and while the other candidates are serving special interests, I'm serving the commies a steaming platter of shame with a side order of "suck it"!
[ACKERMAN 2008]
[SCREW 'EM ALL]
[redalert3.com]
Ackerman: Welcome to my party! Vote for me if you want to live.
Ackerman on Health Care[]
Ackerman: My fellow Americans, many of you have concerns about healthcare. I've never been sick or injured. My blood is incredibly strong and pure. So I will be donating a pint of blood a week to the uninsured. Just a little bit of my blood and your immune system will be indestructible.
[ACKERMAN 2008]
[SCREW 'EM ALL]
[redalert3.com]
Ackerman: Vote for me if you want to live.
Ackerman on Attack Ads[]
Ackerman: Political attack ads: I don't think we need them. Sure you can attack me on TV but would you attack me in person? I say 'bring it on'! I got a steel cage in my basement and we can go toe to toe whenever. You can twist my words but I'll twist that knee until it POPS! Vote for me if you want to live.
[ACKERMAN 2008]
[SCREW 'EM ALL]
[redalert3.com]
Ackerman on Change You Can Believe In[]
Ackerman: Yes we can. We can hope. We can dream. But when we wake up, the only candidate ready for the future is me. And the future is coming. It's coming, and it's bringing with it armored Kodiak bears, attack blimps, and enough weaponized robots to turn hope into a 4 letter word. You want hope? Keep dreaming. You want change? Put out your cup. You want freedom? Vote for me.
[ACKERMAN 2008]
[SCREW 'EM ALL]
[redalert3.com]
Ackerman: Welcome to my party! Vote for me if you want to live.
Ackerman on Illegal Immigration[]
Ackerman: When people ask about my position on illegal immigration, I've got two words: attack dogs! No walls. No permits. Just dogs. ATTACK DOGS!! It's time people learn that this freedom doesn't come for free. Vote for me if you want to live.
[ACKERMAN 2008]
[SCREW 'EM ALL]
[redalert3.com]
See also[]
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